Masuk Free Press

As a middle child, I’ve spent too many road trips sandwiched between my two siblings. Not just physically, but in the vehicle of sibling dynamics, I often find myself wedged between the combating personalities of an older and younger sibling. It is no secret that birth order is not a matter of convenience, it is a unique personality author. Birth order plays a major role in shaping who we are and how we interact with the world around us.

I think the perfect example of this is the well known phenomenon of eldest-daughter syndrome. If you are not familiar with this term, I’d relate it to being the first pancake in a breakfast stack- it’s supposed to set the standard, but instead ends up a little burnt around the edges.

There is heavy pressure on the first-born to bear the weight of lofty expectations and familial responsibilities. They must excel academically, set a positive example for their younger siblings and sometimes act as a pseudo-parental figure. 

One user (@.._whit) under a viral TikTok on this phenomenon commented that, “An oldest daughter had to be able to navigate adulthood while still being a child herself.”

A burden such as this can shape a person’s character. It can foster traits of leadership, responsibility and resilience. It can also affect a child negatively, creating feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt as they struggle to meet impossibly high standards.

Because of the overachieving nature of the older sibling, a middle child often is shied towards the shadows. They are hidden between the shining accomplishments of the eldest and the endearing charm of the youngest. Sometimes forgotten, middle children work their hardest to carve out their own personalities worth paying attention to.

Often the Switzerland of sibling rivalries, us middle children learn a sense of adaptability and empathy, becoming skilled negotiators and peacemakers.

A youngest child is freed from the weight of the expectations that burden the firstborn, enjoying the privilege of being the baby of the family. They learn to navigate the world with a sense of ease and spontaneity, untouched by the responsibilities that lay so heavy on the ones before them.

An upbringing such as this makes a youngest child creative and resilient, with a knack of charming their way out of trouble. However, it can also lead to a tendency to rely on others for support and a reluctance to take responsibility.

Another dynamic that can shape a person is the only child. Some might view it as a world of undivided attention and uncharted freedom and envy the spotlight, but only children bear the weight of parental expectations without the camaraderie of siblings to share the load. 

This can help make a person more self-reliant, independent and mature, but it can also lead to feelings of loneliness and longing for companionship that cannot be fulfilled within the confines of an immediate family. 

Birth order is a major factor in shaping our personalities and how we navigate the world. Whether we are the oldest, middle, youngest, or an only child, each position comes with its own set of opportunities and challenges. 

The order we are born in not only determines where we sit in the backseat of a car, but it molds our character in unique ways.

When we understand the impact birth order has on our own behavior we can understand what might impact the actions of others. It reminds us that family dynamics play a crucial role in our development and interactions throughout our lives. 

Those friends who always have a lint roller, hand sanitizer, a snack or anything you could possibly need, the ones known as the “mom of the group”- take a second glance. She is probably the oldest sister. Remind her that she doesn’t have to be perfect, and maybe take her to a rage room.

Do you have a friend you could go to with any problem and they would instantly find a solution? This guy is the one known as the “therapist friend”. He is definitely a middle sibling. Next time you see him, ask him how he’s doing for a change. And do not listen to the first answer he gives you. 

There are major tendencies for every single dynamic, and understanding them can help us connect better with the people around us.