Cookie Criminal Cooks Up Trouble

By GRACE SHEEHAN & KAYLA ANDREO

After a two-year hiatus, a crime wave has struck Masuk. Early Thursday morning, students arrived to find a gruesome crime scene taped off in front of the Mart. Crime scene investigator Gaber made a chilling announcement over the loudspeakers, warning the school of the heinous crime: 12 dozen cookies and merchandise stolen overnight! Gaber also warned the students to be extra careful while at school because the six suspects work at Masuk. CSI Gaber then identified the suspects as: Anne Spoerndle, Steven Swensen, Stephen Casinelli, Peter Lopuch, Bonnie Waring, and Sharon Bartek.

Students in Gaber’s forensics class examined the scene and commenced their forensic investigation:

 “First we have to make sure everything is tagged to mark evidence. We then took pictures of the crime scene and the marked evidence,” Forensics student Luke Sawyer explained. Investigators then dusted for fingerprints left at the scene and compared them to the fingerprints of the suspects. There were fingerprints left on a milk jug, sticky notes, the windows, and a wallet. However, analyzing the fingerprints is especially grueling according to CSI Gaber:

“There are three main classes of fingerprints: loops, whorls and arches. The students learned the characteristics that make these patterns different from one another. Fingerprints are individual as no two people have the same exact fingerprint. The students practiced identifying fingerprint patterns by rolling their own fingerprints,” said CSI Gaber. “The characteristics that make up the fingerprint patterns make each fingerprint different. In the United States, if 12 characteristics at the crime scene match the suspect fingerprint print, then typically you can assume that it is a match!”

But who could the culprit be? 

“As of right now, I do not [know]. We need to analyze fingerprints and then we can begin to make matches,” Sawyer responded.

Other pieces of evidence, aside from fingerprints left at the scene, have been considered when narrowing the suspect list down.

“Left at the crime scene were two sticky notes, one saying ‘Meeting E109’ and the other ‘To Do: Grade papers, go to department meeting 11/4,’” Forensics student Cece Tobin explained.

These sticky notes have been vital in determining the guilty party because they can rule out certain suspects and lead to the closing of the case. 

“There will be an arrest made on Friday,” Gaber states.

Until the arrest has been made, look out Masuk, your favorite staff member might be a criminal. 

Update: the fingerprints have confirmed that it was Masuk’s own principal, Steven Swensen, who stole the cookies from the Mart.