Masuk Free Press

When it first came out at the turn of the millennium in the year 2000, Gilmore Girls was an instantaneous hit. Really, it was the start to the “fall it girl” trend. Chunky sweaters, hot coffee, chilly winds and girls having fun-this show had it all.

And though it officially ended after seven seasons and later a movie, it continues to be brought up as a hallmark of and a traditional watch during the fall season. I can confidently say that it IS an awesome TV show, but I cannot watch it without constantly saying to myself, “Lorelai, please, just go away.”

The series begins with a focus on Lorelai Gilmore, a single mother raising her hyper-intelligent daughter, also named Lorelai. Her daughter (nicknamed Rory) gets into a very prestigious school, but her mother doesn’t have the funds to pay for it immediately, so she turns to her estranged parents for help.

Before the meeting between them even takes place, we learn that Rory and her mother only see her grandparents on holidays, even though they live just a short drive away. This changes after their meeting, and they start to see each other every Friday night for dinner. Over time though, as viewers learn more and more about Lorelai’s relationship with her parents, it becomes apparent that the way she has treated them is very distasteful.

“I don’t like the way she treats her parents because she almost blames them for everything when it’s not fully their fault,” said sophomore Tanvi Koul.

I’m not going to sit here and say that her parents were perfect and never did anything wrong, because anyone who has watched the show knows that they are not perfect angels. They did make mistakes in their parenting and still continue to make mistakes in every season, with Lorelai and Rory.

 “A lot of people will say that she is privileged, and she kind of is, but she also had no free reign over her life, and people don’t understand that. Like, how hard it is to be trapped. You could be a bird in a golden cage, but you’re still in a cage,” said sophomore Tanisha Gera. 

There were certainly instances where you could feel sympathy for Lorelai and with what she had to put up with. Her family was very wealthy, but let’s be honest, money isn’t everything, and it certainly can’t replace your relationship with your parents.

“I liked how they depicted that she kind of forgave them later on, especially how they ousted her when she got pregnant with Rory as if that was a mistake, that was the worst thing in the world. They definitely could have forgiven her, I feel like,” said Gera.

But we should think back a little bit. When Lorelai got pregnant at 16 with Rory, her parents were naturally mad, but they didn’t disown her or kick her out of the house, they took care of her. Yet, she did not even bother to tell them that she had gone into labor (and yes, she had time). 

While Lorelai’s parents were doing all of that, Rory’s grandparents on her dad’s side wanted nothing to do with her, and said later on that Lorelai ended their son’s future because she “had that baby.”

After Rory was born, her grandparents cared for her, too, as seen in a flashback of Lorelai’s mom (Emily) telling her to put Rory’s stroller away (for the umpteenth time). Moments later in the shot, we learn that Lorelai had run away with Rory, and only left a note to inform her parents.

Back at the start of the series, Emily wants to buy Rory extra clothes for her expensive uniform school, and she just wants Rory to have more to wear. Lorelai, however, refuses. She says Rory is fine with having one set of clothes, but really, Lorelai is the only one who is fine with that. She refuses to let her parents spoil Rory, and it becomes frustrating to watch as she decides time after time that Rory should receive less and not more.

As I discuss Lorelai’s relationship with her parents, I feel that it is important to also talk about her relationship with her daughter.

  Throughout the series, it is quite obvious that she and her daughter have an equal emotional relationship, and that is not the kind of relationship that any parent should have with their kid for multiple reasons. When she has a fight with her parents or breaks up with a boyfriend, Lorelai drags Rory into it, because she is too immature to handle it herself and I wouldn’t have mentioned this unless it wasn’t occurring in almost every episode of the show.

But if it’s not already very obvious, Lorelai Gilmore is not your average mom. She loves her daughter more than anything else which is one of her better qualities but time and time again she puts her problems onto Rory. Despite this, many do say that she was a great mom. 

“I think she was a good mom because she did anything for Rory, and she tried her best, and that’s what matters,” said sophomore Grace Shevlin. 

Even with the way their relationship is, Lorelai likes to switch it up sometimes. When Rory made the mistake of falling asleep with her boyfriend in a dance studio after her school dance, Lorelai thought that she was lying when she said that nothing happened. She then proceeds to treat her like an unconvicted criminal just because she thinks that Rory is becoming like her. (They’re completely different people by the way)

“I think she’s like a helicopter parent, almost. Like she’s too involved in her kid’s life, and I feel like she was trying to live through her daughter’s life and when it didn’t work out she got a little upset about that, but overall I think she wanted the best for her daughter,” said Koul.

Another problem I have with their relationship is how Lorelai’s (poor) handling of her love life impacts her daughter. After she goes to college, Rory meets and starts dating a guy named Logan Huntzberger. They date for a few years, and he’s everything you would want in a guy: sweet, thoughtful, good-looking, rich etc.

He proposes to her in public (and we can talk about whether he should have done it that way, but hold on) and Rory is considering it. She looks over to her mom, Lorelai gives her a look, and Rory suddenly doesn’t seem to know what to do.

Her mom had many failed relationships over the course of the series, as well as a handful of failed marriages. As you watch the series, it feels like Rory is becoming her mother, and is not handling relationships well. While Logan should have tried harder to have conversations about marriage with her, whenever he did, she always shut him down. Her behavior mimics that of her mother, and eventually it becomes clear that Rory is almost like a clone of her mother, which is extremely disappointing to someone like me who hates the original and will now have to transfer that emotion to the current.

All of this is what continues my personal trend of never understanding why people like Lorelai Gilmore. I find her to be an unpleasant and annoying person whose character arc just constantly goes into circles. We should definitely not pretend that she is a role model for young women and girls. While she did overcome a lot, that does not excuse her behavior towards her parents or her daughter during the many seasons the show aired. While she is relatable and fun, and the best friend we all want, we also need to realize that she has many, many flaws that she never even tries to fix. With all this on my mind, I hope I’ve changed yours. 

(Even if I haven’t, you should go watch The Gilmore Girls, it’s a great show)